Re: The Complaints Thread >:(

by **Kathryn Lacey** Sun Aug 29, 2010 1:26 pm

Gunneh, I'm sorry you essentially have to work a twelve hour shift. :: hugs :: I hope you're able to get through it with minimal crappiness.

Eternity, did you know she wanted to sell your car, or was that a spur-of-the-moment thing?

I complain that one thing after another is happening and making life suck for my lover. I wish I could be there with him, but I can't, and I have no idea what to do to help him feel better about things. =\

by Guest Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:34 pm

I complain that if you have a long distance relationship, the only way to communicate and be together is by chatting or possibly phoning. But what the heck do you do when the other person isn't talking...
Well, much doesn't happen at all.

by **Kathryn Lacey** Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:47 pm

Dagger, I totally get that. Some days are chattier than others. =\

by Guest Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:50 pm

When some days turn to two weeks. With just a few days with real excuses (being tired and fuzzy brained), it's not just feeling less chatty anymore. D:
I can be chatty myself, but I don't like basically having monologue, neither do I enjoy having to steer the conversation all the time. I don't want to consciously have to ask question after question to actually get a "conversation". So yeah....

by **Kathryn Lacey** Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:59 pm

Maybe you should ask your partner what's up? I mean, sometimes there are underlying causes to a lack of chattiness. Sometimes, talking to frequently can cause it, of course, but other times, the cause could be a lack of interest? The only way to discern which it is is to be direct.

by Guest Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:18 pm

Yeah I know. I'll see how it looks the next couple of days.
I tried ask him if he wanted to share what had been on his mind, but he just said no. Some of it was RP stuff, so that was okay. But there's also been other more personal stuff on his mind. He didn't want to share that either, and that's also my problem.
He doesn't really share his thoughts or feelings a lot, and it bothers me.

by **Kathryn Lacey** Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:21 pm

:: nods :: I can understand that. It took a long time for my lover to really be able to share just what he was feeling, and even now, it's sometimes difficult. Make sure that you're also sharing your thoughts and feelings because if you're not, there's no feeling of equality. Also, it may be a good idea to let him know that it's not like he has to inform you of his entire life history in one sitting. Just sharing a little each time is important.

Without communication, there's nothing to keep a long distance relationship working because that's honestly all you have to keep a connection until you live with one another.

by Guest Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:55 pm

Aye, I agree.

And I do share of myself, a lot of the time. If I didn't it wouldn't bother me as much that he doesn't. I just feel shut out because well...it seems he doesn't want to talk about anything important with me, at least not lately. Ah well, he's not coming online tonight apparently, so I guess I'll have to try tomorrow or so.

The thing is that I can't change how it is now. I guess I could also ask him if he wants me to do anything different. Who knows maybe I'm being a bother back?

Anyway, thanks Kathryn. ^^

by **Kathryn Lacey** Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:07 pm

I think that's a good idea, asking him if there's anything he may want to do differently. He may have some good insight, but he may have simply been too afraid to bring it up himself or something.

I hope everything works out for the best for you. =3

by **Silvan Arrow** Sun Aug 29, 2010 6:15 pm

Dagger, I can also relate to what you're going through. Kathryn brought up an interesting thing with talking too frequently. I dated a guy my freshman year of undergrad that went into the summer, and we did the long-distance thing. However, he called almost every day, and I couldn't keep the conversation going long enough to satisfy how much he wanted to talk. And he wasn't exactly forthcoming with a lot of interesting conversation tidbits, so after a while it just got annoying and clingy. Needless to say, that didn't last.

At present, I'm keeping in touch with a close guy friend that I have feelings for, and sometimes it's really hard to get ahold of him. He doesn't get on AIM, he's hardly ever on Facebook, his phone can't send texts, and half the time he doesn't answer his phone. Basically we're restricted to using phone conversations, but that could also be good in a way because it forces us to actually talk and hear each others' voices, which makes it a little more personal than just texting all the time. But it does get hard for me when I try to call during the week, he doesn't answer, and I'm left missing him for days at a time. However, it's fantastic when we do talk because we have plenty to discuss and the chemistry we have clearly hasn't diminished with distance.

I really hope things work out for you, hun. My advice would be to let him know that you're there for him if he wants to talk about what's bothering him but not to push him. Most guys like handling things on their own and being independent, so if their girlfriends constantly offer advice or try to help, they may interpret that as a lack of faith in their ability to handle their own problems or even to help with their girlfriends' problems in the future. I'm sure that's not what you would ever mean to imply (and I'm sure not all guys are like that), but they can still take it that way.

by Eternity Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:23 pm

I spilled a glass of water on my laptop...

And had a total meltdown because of it...
But it seems to be working now. <.< Ugh. Today is a bad day.

by Guest Mon Aug 30, 2010 5:25 pm

Alright, so, I enlisted the help of a volunteer editor on another site to help me shape and mold my current writing project - and make it somewhat readable/enjoyable to read.

I really dislike people who have a habit of saying "lol" "rofl" or "hahaha" constantly when I have not said anything funny. Forgive me, but that type of behavior makes me really paranoid - like, "Are they laughing at ME? Is there a joke I didn't see? Are they trying to pull one over on me?" etc. Because in face-to-face conversation - you'd be able to tell from the type of laugh - someone who laughs constantly like that when nothing is funny, is either playing tricks on you or really nervous.

And not to mention that I sort of know her from somewhere else and the tone of conversation itself just aggravated my natural anxieties and insecurities.

She was the first person I contacted and already I can tell, it's not going to work out with me constantly on edge. That part is okay and I'll find someone else. I just found the behavior annoying enough to complain about it.

by **Gadreille** Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:25 pm

I just found out my neighbors had a baby last week; and she's not expected to live. They are cementing off their home to fight dust so that they may bring her home. I believe they got rid of the family dog as well. The father thinks that she will survive, and I hope he is right.

I suddenly feel that I have nothing to complain about. I hope their daughter lives.

by **Kathryn Lacey** Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:53 pm

That's really sad, especially if they've wanted the baby all along. The precautions their taking suggest they really want her. I hope the baby lives, too. It's always sad when infants pass...

by **Gadreille** Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:05 pm

Yea, they wanted her. They are an older couple, and I think they already have kids, so that helps in a sense but it is still dreadful. I hope that I get to meet her sometime. I don't really understand what she is sick from, but it seems like maybe it's a low immune system. I don't really have the nerve to go ask for details.

by The Melancholy Spirit Tue Aug 31, 2010 4:52 pm

... talk about ironic. I stayed up to 3:00 am last night/this morning watching "The Business of Being Born" and then come here and read this...

Side note, I think everyone should watch that film. Women in particular.

by Tartra Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:15 pm

Complaints, eh? Alright.

I'm writing a book. That shouldn't be news to anyone because I don't think a single person on a RP 'site can say differently/will be saying differently in a week. I like my book, it's something I'd actually read, and I've been working on it for maybe... oh, let's say three years. A lot of that was ironing out the idea and making sure the plot was consistent. I'm on the home stretch now (again, that's something everyone can say, but I FO SHO MEANZ IT), but that's not the problem.

My darling father, who is an okay guy in his own way, found out I wasn't horrible at writing when I was fourteen. I used to spend my childhood going, 'Daddy, give me three objects and I'll make a story out of them' and he'd laugh, say I was very creative, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. The day he found out I was entertaining the idea of writing actual stories, he quickly became my biggest supporter. I was delighted to have someone take such an avid interest. Y'know. For the first few months.

"Did you finish your book?" "I hope you're working on your book." "Is your book done yet?" "Why isn't it done?"

Let me be clear: there has not been, for the past six years, a single conversation - up to and including any kind of chat beyond four minutes, and lately even then - that does not end with him bitching about my book. No, I don't know why it's taking this long, not with you fucking hassling me about it every other minute (phone call this morning: working on your book? Yes, dad. Good.) but I'm pretty sure it's dipping into spite. In fact, I don't think you even know what the plot is, but thanks for focusing on the important part!

I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS THAT WHATS-HER-FACE revolutionized vampires in a few months. I DO NOT CARE that there's people getting published at 17, 18, 19. SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH, A BOOK IS NOT A REPORT, I HAVE TO WRITE THIS SO PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY ENJOY IT. It will be done when it's done, I appreciate the sentiment, so stop whining and LEAVE ME ALONE.

tl;dr? Less nagging plz

by Guest Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:29 pm

Amen. I couldn't agree with you more.

by Skitzo-phrenick Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:33 am

The Melancholy Spirit wrote:... talk about ironic. I stayed up to 3:00 am last night/this morning watching "The Business of Being Born" and then come here and read this...

Side note, I think everyone should watch that film. Women in particular.

I found that movie on TV once and was immediately entranced. Actually got me thinking about going with natural birth if I ever bothered to desire children. It also scared the living shit out of me in many ways.

For the sake of keeping on topic I'll complain. Why the fuck do women have the stereotype of never wanting to shut up? If anything I've come across more men who couldn't keep their ear of their cell phone receiver or called me up just to chat. I mean it's true that a conversation amongst a bunch of females tends to last but the same could be said for men as well. So in short: STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME JUST TO KILL TIME!!! 'Hey' IS SOMETHING NO ONE WANTS TO RECEIVE ON THEIR CELL PHONE!!

by Guest Thu Sep 02, 2010 1:31 pm

I smashed my thumbnail in the car door a while ago. The nail is slowly coming off, and the bottom of it as split apart from the skin and there is no a gaping hole. Unfortunately, the new nail is already growing out. I am afraid it is going to push against the original nail before it is ready to come off and possibly cause me immense pain...

Not to mention, it looks absolutely disgusting. Maybe I'll get a picture of it.

by **Silvan Arrow** Thu Sep 02, 2010 1:43 pm

Ouch, that just sounds painful. My fingers ache from thinking about it...

I complain that my students apparently don't know how to follow directions when I literally tell them, "For this question, I'm looking for this specific information," and they still don't do it. Oh, grading is such fun...

by Guest Thu Sep 02, 2010 4:37 pm

Thanks for your input too Silvan. Now I need to catch him online too....

Anyway. I complain that I'm so lazy and other stuff that I have two school assignments that are late and I have two RP posts I need to write. But I only read and read and read. The reading is really good, but I really need to take care of the assignments so I can write my rp posts. Le sigh. I apologize to my RP partners too... Not really doing anything on Saturday and Sunday, so those will be the days to catch up.

by The Melancholy Spirit Fri Sep 03, 2010 3:45 am

I complain that the only people I actually feel really close to are the people I'm likely to never meet.

by **Kathryn Lacey** Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:52 pm

Jani, I'm sorry you feel that way. Sometimes it's easier to get closer to people online than in person. It really just depends. I hope one day you can either form close relationships with people you can meet, or I hope you can at least meet those with whom you're currently close one day.

by Eternity Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:25 pm

Complaint:

I can barely wait. It seems like time passes too slowly. I want to wake up in my new life, in a bed with Loki, months from now when everything is right and well. <3 I miss you Loki =[

by Eternity Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:27 am

Complaint:

I just had one of the worst nights ever. Sleep was totally impossible for the most part. Oh, and when I had first fallen asleep, and was actually doing pretty good, Tao stuck his head in my glass of ice water and flipped it by accident, sloshing cold water right onto my face, hair, and pillow. I could've murdered him...

After that, I shivered for what felt like forever because my usual coldness was doubled in intensity. Only to follow was a shallow sleep where I had a nightmare about my mother putting me down at Christmas, when I'll be asking for money to start off my new life and she denies me because she says that she shouldn't put out cash for a child that doesn't love her. I know it's a stupid thing to nightmare about, but the whole crisis about her refusing me ten dollars to eat (at the end of the month when I was starving and grandparents had beans while I cannot eat them) and then bringing up all the money I've spent out of her and her idea that I "don't love her" paired with "I'm not a bank, stop using me like one"... It's a little ordeal to some people I guess, but I can't help but hurt over it. I was hoping she'd help me, be glad to see me off happily with some cushion of at least a little bit and pray to God a new phone because my own is coming up on three or four years old now. I guess I feel betrayed by my mother, she is doing the same thing she did when I moved out of her house. The whole "You must not love me to do this" kind of thing. And I do love her. And she says I only contact her when I need money or something. False. I contact her sometimes for just the hell of it, but I've stopped because she doesn't ever contact me. If I don't call her or text her, she will go weeks if not months without talking to me.

Ugh.

FML. My family is driving me nuts.

by wakeangel Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:31 am

The Melancholy Spirit wrote:I complain that the only people I actually feel really close to are the people I'm likely to never meet.

~big, glompy, close-to-you-from-afar hug~

by **Silvan Arrow** Sat Sep 04, 2010 3:48 pm

Today so far is just a terrible, no-good, very bad day. I've been swapping Facebook messages with my crush, who is also a really good friend) for a while now, and I asked when his fall break was and if he had any plans. As if turns out, his break is the Thursday and Friday before mine, which starts on Monday and Tuesday. It couldn't have worked out better, since I wouldn't have any teaching prep meetings that weekend and very little in the way of homework. But of course, as fate would have it, he has to go on class field trip that Friday and something else on Saturday, so he won't be able to come down to visit. He still won't answer the phone when I try to call, which leaves me even more confused than before. I mean, I never get the sense that anything is wrong based on his Facebook messages, but at the same time that's the only way I can actually get ahold of him. And I miss having actual conversations with him and hearing his voice.

It's completely illogical for this to hurt so much. It makes no sense for me to miss him so much that it physically hurts. I should know by now not to get my hopes up for stuff like this when it's never worked in the past. All I've succeeded in doing is making myself miserable and making my dad worry (I called him today almost in tears, and now he's all worried.). I hate that I feel trapped by these emotions that never ease up and never fade with time.

by Guest Sun Sep 05, 2010 4:56 pm

I complain that I sent a whole hour yesterday creating a good play list on my iPad, and when I synced the iPad an hour ago it just disappeared....

by **Silvan Arrow** Sun Sep 05, 2010 6:40 pm

I complain that I have a sore throat today. It's really not that bad, but it's always the first warning sign before I get a cold. I'm hoping that taking it easy today will nip it in the bud. I can't afford to get sick when I've got grad school classes and teaching to think about.

I also complain that I hate waiting for people to call me back. I was talking to my crush on the phone, and he had to take another call and said he would call me back. This was over three hours ago... I know he was making sure his friend wasn't lost and that he's going to a fireworks show tonight, but STILL! Three hours?! Geez...

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