The Thing... It' s back!

Didn't you read the title? Oh, you poor demented fool, wandering here into the waiting clutches of the Thing From Under The Sink. Or Bob as I sometimes prefer to be known. To those of you reading my unedited post in all of it' s grammarless horror, you have my pity. To everyone who remains sane... You may thank me later for my swift and precise edits on your behalf.

Kindles aren't easy to steer around the English language, especially when you first start out and get confused about which hand is doing what and where. No, in fact, you don't want to know, because most people seem unaccountably fond of their sanity and ability to utter coherent sentences in understandable modern languages that don't come from hideously depraved, alien intelligences. So don't ask how many hands I have, or what they're all doing at any one time.

That way lies madness.

Anyway, what' s been going on while I've been away? Anything good? Lovecraftian? Wonderfully depraved and terrifying? Oh, do tell. The suspense is TOO MUCH for sanity to bear.

The werebights have come to kill us all, but we fought them off by not really doing much of anything. We're that awesome.

I think some aliens invaded.
And there was art and stuff.
So many adventures.

Also, the world ended, but it's all good.

Welcome back, Tuts! =

Are you serious? I totally missed all the fun and frolic in these past two years. I didn't even realise it had been that long since I lost my name, only to find it under the sink. Or, y'know, in my inbox where I'd left it.

D' oh.

Oooh! I'm turning that one into a pinup. My calendar could really do with more pics.

Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to mistake you for nyarlethotep and follow along blindly like a happy little shoggoth? You need to be a little more, what's the word, terrifying. Like this...

Oh, look at me forgetting myself and making people's brains squeak in terror.

Actually, uh, that is Cthulhu.

Tempest wrote:Actually, uh, that is Cthulhu.

Um. No. It's not. It's a picture of Cthulhu, and it makes him look very pretty, hence the squeeing from under the sink. If it was actually Cthulhu, I'd be having sarcastic letters from one Nyarlethotep along the lines of "See? You were a fool to leave!" or something. That, or I'd be insane/dead along with the rest of you.

I think the only real difference would be that the postal service would be more reliable, but I digress.

...

*punches a hole in the drain pipe and pours acid down the sink*

D'awwww! You got my favourite brand of drain cleaner, and it's the good stuff. I lobe you too.

This is undoubtedly the beginning of some beautiful comradeship.

Yes. Truly the start of a beautiful mutual misunderstanding, I'm sure.

Imagine all the misadventures we could have.

Not to mention the misanthropic characters we're bound to meet along the way. Of course, you'd have to carry my sink. Annd, maybe the kitchen. Possibly the rest of the house, too.

That's assuming the old man doesn't stuff your soul in a jar, of course. He's a wee bit cranky that way.

Could it possibly be a metaphorical sink?

What, you think someone called "The Thing Under The Sink" would live under a metaphor? No, it's one of those big, old things that weigh almost a ton and attract all kinds of weird stuff to the cupboard underneath.

Really tasty weird stuff, as it happens, but that doesn't help the original problem.

By the way, I taste like feet marinaded in old boot polish with a nice burning rubber tire garnish, so I won't be surprised if you try to take a bite.

The world needs to end all over again. xD

You do say the sweetest things, Kalon. Truly.

I think maybe it's time to go look for an interesting threadlet. Maybe help it grow up into an unspeakable horror, or something.