Roll to Dodge the Alien Threat

Lingering aggression, must...find...violence...

Search for any other hostiles! We're suppose to kill them DAMMIT!

Feel sorry for myself. The only thing I've been good at is opening a book that drove me insane, everything else has failed.

LET'S DO THIS!

Uh...wait, what? This doesn't look like cairo...

Well, now that I'm here...Uh, yeah...hi guys.

Since the hostiles are now thoroughly dead, examine them closely for any possible weaknesses (other than airstrikes and dropship landing gear) that we can take advantage of later.

Enough cowering! Time to Rejoin the team!

And now for your "regularly scheduled" update! Sorry for all these random delays... I'm not very good at doing things on a regular basis anyway, and I've been spending a lot of time hanging with my friends before we all run off to college, so... Distractions are present. >.<

Round 10:
Operatives-
Quaker:
You search for goodies.
Roll: 5!
In the puddle of blood where Grey Six perished, you find an odd metal canister...
It is ticking.
Item Acquired: [MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE-[???/???]]
Tick-Toc: [Less Awesome: 2 Turns Remaining]

Plague:
The hunt is on!
Roll: 5!
You go North!
Surroundings Update-
A little ways up the street from the landing site, you find yourself in a T-intersection. To your left and right are shops. Behind you (south) are the dropships. Rather, dropship, because you have no idea where the hell Quaker put yours. It occurs to you that this will be a crowded flight home.

There is an empty beer bottle in the street here. There are several car wrecks in the street here.

Twelve Greys are here.

Mack Terran:
You decide to mope. Silly emo kid.
Roll: 4!
Sanity Damage: 4!
Sanity Update: [-13/12]
The GM thanks you for the assistance. Lord Funk disapproves.

DeadEye:
You begin inspecting the corpses for weaknesses!
Roll: 6!
Well, from a biological standpoint, their epidermis appears to be a biosynthetic blend, resistant to cutting and tearing, but limiting their dexterity and agility. You theorize that native mating calls would trigger a massive cranial eruption.
Note: If anyone actually works that one out, I will laugh VERY hard.
Learning Roll: 2!

Shadow:
You burst from cover and charge into batt-- erm... Charge into friendly territory!
Your teammates look mildly amused.

Gunneh:
You are mysteriously (and conspicuously) absent!

Ticking?...TICKING!?!?

OMG It's a bomb!

Throw the item away from myself, duck behind cover, and watch to see what happens.

Well...this is just...different. They have no apparent means of vocal aural communication, but a mating call would certainly kill them...what the fuck. Perhaps they communicate... telepathically?! But then, how do they reproduce without murdering eachother...

Oh shit, ticking thing just got tossed nonchalantly! Take cover.

After a short stint of staring into nothingness and twiddling my thumbs, I decide to move in the same direction that Plague went and- HOLYSHITTHERESMOREGREYS!

Try to stealth into a nearby shop to look for anything useful.

... INCENDIARY GRENADE TOSS A GO-GO, BABY! BURN EM ALL TO ASH.

Take cover behind some rubble and watch the mysterious ticking object, ever longing to pick it up and fetch it back to Quaker.

Ticking object? Oh for the love of all that is unholy--DIVE BACK INTO COVER!

Round 11:
Initiative-
Operatives: 37!
Hostiles: 59!
Hostiles go first!

Hostiles-
Grey 1:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 1
Physical Dodge Roll: 3
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Gunneh darts aside!

Grey 2:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 6
Physical Dodge Roll: 3
Physical Mitigation Roll: 6
Although he is hit, plasma is no match for Gunneh's Caveman Justice!
Learning Roll: 5!

Grey 3:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 1
Physical Dodge Roll: 5
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Recovering his balance, Gunneh rolls out of the way!

Grey 4:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 1
Physical Dodge Roll: 2
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
With the slightest twitch, Plague leans out of the plasma's path.

Grey 5:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Physical Dodge Roll: 1!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 6!
Deciding to show off once more, Gunneh flexes his neolithic brawn and the plasma flees in terror.
Learning Roll: 4!

Grey 6:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Yawning slightly, Plague ducks and avoids another burst of plasma!

Grey 7:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Physical Dodge Roll: 6!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Not one to be out done, Gunneh neatly spins out of harm's way.
Learning Roll: 3!

Grey 8:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 1!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 5!
Taken slightly by surprise, Plague catches the bolt of plasma and tosses it aside.

Grey 9:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 3!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Gunneh dodges. Again.

Grey 10:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 3!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
And Plague does something amusing that the GM can't think of at the moment whilst dodging yet another blast of plasma.

Grey 11:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Physical Dodge Roll: 1!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 6!
Plague has a staring contest with the alien's gun. And wins.
Learning Roll: 1!

Grey 12:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 5!
Physical Dodge Roll: 5!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Plague just dodges. I don't even care how anymore.

Achievement Unlocked (Gunneh, Plague): Defiant-- You have defied the will of the GM, logic, and probability. And lived.
Trait Acquired (Plague): [Promethean: You have gained the ability to create small fires at will]
Item Acquired (Gunneh): [Lacuna Imperium: At the cost of 8 Sanity, you may ignore one rule for one turn.]
Note: I really don't know what else to do here. Seriously.

Operatives-
Quaker:
You dispose of the alien technology!
Roll: 1!
A bit of blood rubs off the device, revealing some of the shiniest metal you've ever seen.
...What were you doing again?
Item Updated: [MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE-[???/???][Shiny]]
The ticking is rather catchy. You have the urge to break into song.
Tick-Toc: [Less Awesome: 1 Turns Remaining]

DeadEye:
You ruin a hitherto dramatic entrance by cowering like a sissy!
...But nothing happens.

Gunneh:
You exhale, and stare down one of the Greys.
Shoot me. I dare you.
Then you turn away and begin ransacking an abandoned shop.
Roll: 2!
You find little of interest to a badass like yourself.
They don't even have the latest in stone weaponry!

Plague:
You toss your incendiary grenade!
Item Use Roll: 5!
Damage: Roll=5!
Grouping: 8!
Note To Self: Reconsider explosive mechanics.
Targets: 5, 3, 7, 2, 1, 9, 3, 11
Grey 5 Dodge: 4!
Grey 5 Mitigation: 3!
Target Health Update: [4/6]
Target Ignited!

Grey 3 Dodge: 1!
Grey 3 Mitigation: 4!
Target Health Update: [5/6]
Target Ignited!

Grey 7 Dodge: 2!
Grey 7 Mitigation: 1!
Target Health Update: [2/6]
Target Ignited!

Grey 2 Dodge: 3!
Grey 2 Mitigation: 5!
Target Ignited!

Grey 1 Dodge: 2!
Grey 1 Mitigation: 5!
Target Ignited!

Grey 9 Dodge: 3!
Grey 9 Mitigation: 2!
Target Health Update: [3/6]
Target Ignited!

Grey 3 Dodge: 5!

Grey 11 Dodge: 3!
Grey 11 Mitigation: 2!
Target Health Update: [3/6]
Target Ignited!

You feel smugly satisfied.

Mack Terran:
Lord Funk grabs you by the shoulders with his groovy hands.
What are you WAITING for? Get GOING!
Insanity Action: 6!
Sanity +6!
You feel better... But not enough.
Sanity Update: [-7/Odysseus]

Shadow:
You dive back into cover. You've been spending a lot of time behind this piece of cover. It feels like home now.
You named it Fred, and will keep it forever close.
Item Acquired: [Fred the Cover: [18/18]

BURN BABY BURN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And now! Find cover before Logic, the GM and Probablity catch up with you! Once in cover, bust a god-damn move just because you fucked the universes rules, and lob another god-damn Incenidary at the alien hordes!

Shiny? SHINY!

But...ticking...

Must...throw...Shiny...AWAAAAAAAY!

Attempt to throw shiny object away once more!

Lord Funk has ordered it, and thus it must be so. THIS TIME... WE FIGHT! With a mighty cry, run towards the sounds of battle and take aim with the rifle, choosing to fire at the first enemy seen.

Follow the sound of gunfire to find...

HOLY SHIT! TARGET-RICH ENVIRONMENT!!! Perfect time to employ concentrated fire!
(too bad my teammates are an incendiary chuckwagon, a caveman looter, and a disco superstar...)

Open fire on Grey 9.

What the...did we just...I mean...

VICTORY DANCE!

Reminding myself to fist-bump Plague later, I decide that it's time to bring some Caveman Justice to these alien motherfuckers, run back outside, flex my manly, Neolithic pectorals and pick up three medium sized pieces of rubble and hurl them all at the Greys!

FRED THE COVER. He will be my friend FOREVER.

Stay hidden, where its nice and safe, while watching Quaker with the mysterious ticking object. Maybe its friendly?

Round 12:
Initiative-
Operatives: 21!
Hostiles: 79!

Hostiles-

Grey 1:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 5
Physical Dodge Roll: 5
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Plague dodges. Like a boss.
Grey 1 burns!
Health Update: [5/6]

Grey 2:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 4
Physical Dodge Roll: 3
Physical Mitigation Roll: 3
Lacking Gunneh's hoss-ness, and Plague's... Plague-ness, DeadEye is shot in the left arm!
Operative Health Update: [11/12]
Grey 2 burns!
Health Update: [5/6]

Grey 3:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 2
Physical Dodge Roll: 4
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Not totally without class, DeadEye sidesteps the next round that heads his way.
Grey 3 burns!
Health Update: [4/6]

Grey 4:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 5
Physical Dodge Roll: 4
Physical Mitigation Roll: 5
Failing to matrix-dodge, Deadeye's shoulder is nicked by the plasma bolt, but it bounces off.

Grey 5:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 3!
Proving himself nigh plasma-proof, Deadeye deflects another shot.
Grey five burns!
Health Update: [3/6]

Grey 6:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 6!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
... And then tires of deflecting plasma, opting to dodge instead.
Learning Roll: 1!

Grey 7:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 1!
Physical Dodge Roll: 3!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Despite being targeted by an absurd number of aliens, DeadEye continues dodging.
Grey 7 burns!
Health Update: [1/6]

Grey 8:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 4!
Physical Dodge Roll: 3!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 1!
DeadEye's dance lessons failed to pay off.
Operative Health Update: [8/12]

Grey 9:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
But then he resorts to simpler dodges, and it's all good again.
Grey 9 burns!
Health Update: [2/6]

Grey 10:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Deciding to shoot at someone else, Grey 10 fires on Gunneh, but failed to hit anything.

Grey 11:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 6!
Grey 11 deemed DeadEye safer for their ego than Gunneh. They were wrong.
Learning Roll: 2!
Grey 11 burns!
Health Update: [2/6]

Grey 12:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 5!
Physical Dodge Roll: 5!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Caught between a rock, a hard place (and Plague), Grey 12 fires wildly at Gunneh, who dodges the plasma.

Operatives-
Plague:
You get to cover!
Note: I only actually roll for the quality of cover if you're getting attacked at that moment... otherwise I'll roll for cover whenever it's needed (ie- sky cow ambush)
Roll: 4!
It's not the best, but it's certainly better than nothing.

Quaker:
You attempt to fling alien tech! Again!
Roll: 2-3(SHINY!)= -1!
The device fuses to your hand.
Trait Expired: [Less Awesome]

Mack Terran:
Lord Funk watches you, patiently awaiting your response.
Roll: 1!
Sanity -6!
You wobble like a duck!
Sanity Update: [-13/Velocirapture]

DeadEye:
You unleash your fury on Grey 9!
Physical Attack Roll: 2+1(Stance)=3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 1!
Damage: 3-1=2!
Target Health Update: [0/6]
Kills +1
Achievement Unlocked: Squaddie, bruh.- Kill your first hostile.
You finish the three round burst into it's corpse, just to be safe.

Gunneh:
You get ready to stone the Greys like a professional lynch mob.
Target Roll: 8!
Target: Grey 8!
Physical Attack Roll: 1!
Physical Dodge Roll: 4!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Grey 8 easily sidesteps your feeble throws.

Shadow:
You contemplate the device's intentions.
...
Considering it just welded itself to Quaker's hand, you deem it's intentions highly amusing.

Attempt to pass the forbidden knowledge onto Grey 5 instead.

PLAGUE TOSS. FIREY DEATH GRENADE A GO GO!

...AGAIN.

Well, it's not that I don't like being popular, but when my popularity is with bolts of fucking plasma, I'll pass.

Take cover.

[4thwall]"Hey fuckers, you get an accuracy bonus if you use your fucking firearms!" [/4thwall]

Huh, well this isn't what I was hoping for, but hopefully it's something like a power fist.

Since I can longer throw the damn thing, might as well inspect the shiny item.

Ok, so the rocks aren't working anymore... It's time to unleash some modern day fury on these assholes! Ready the rifle and fire on Grey 8!

Well, since its merged with Quaker's hand....It must be safe to come out of cover! Maybe it'll be useful and warn of approaching greys!

So... I done goofed. Initially, this was going to be a short hiatus while I did some actual RPing, but... It's become just a clusterfuck of scheduling issues. I should get back to regular-ish updates tomorrow. Hopefully. Anyway, sorry about the nonsense, but I *DID* manage to acquire a bit of a social life during this intervention-- and I'm very proud of that fact, so I regret nothing.

Weeeeell, I appear to have misplaced my social life, so this should be back to regular updates. Also, I haven't been updating you people's ammo, so... AMNESTY DAY! I'll probably reformat the character sheets so I remember next time-- ammo will actually matter next mission. Which should be soon. But enough about me-- On with

Round 13:
Initiative-
Operatives: 31!
Hostiles: 40!

Hostiles-
Grey 1:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 4!
Physical Dodge Roll: 3!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 5!
Gunneh proves once again that muscles are the best armor!
Grey 1 burns!
Health Update: [4/6]

Grey 2:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
DeadEye floats like a butterfly (but doesn't manage to sting like a bee)!
Grey 2 burns!
Health Update: [4/6]

Grey 3:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 4!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 4!
Plasma bounces from Gunneh's incredible abs like pebbles off a boulder!
Grey 3 burns!
Health Update: [3/6]

Grey 4:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Physical Dodge Roll: 4!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 5!
DeadEye tries to be Gunneh, but doesn't quite pull it off!
Operative Health Update: [7/12]

Grey 5:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 5!
Physical Dodge Roll: 6!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Quickly recovering, DeadEye dashes away from the next burst!
Learning Roll: 1!
Grey 5 burns!
Health Update: [2/6]

Grey 6:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 6!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Having taken enough punishment, Gunneh makes like DeadEye and dodges!
Learning Roll: 5!

Grey 7:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 3!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Continuing his frantic dodges, DeadEye evades again!
Grey 7 burns!
Grey 7 falls!
Plague Kills +1!

Grey 8:
Target Roll: 2!
Target: DeadEye!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Physical Dodge Roll: 5!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 4!
DeadEye's luck runs out!
Operative Health Update: [5/12]

Grey 10:
Target Roll: 1!
Target: Plague!
Physical Attack Roll: 5-1[In Cover]=4!
Physical Dodge Roll: 5!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Grey 10 just misses!

Grey 11:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 4!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Nothing can stop the Gunneh!
Grey 11 burns!
Health Update: [1/6]

Grey 12:
Target Roll: 3!
Target: Gunneh!
Physical Attack Roll: 3
Physical Dodge Roll: 4
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
G-G-Godlike!

Operatives-
Mack Terran:
Lord Funk sighs.
You are tiring me, mortal child.
Roll: 2!
Sanity -3!
Sanity Update: [-16/SuperToshibo]

Plague:
You throw an incendiary grenade! Again!
Item Use Roll: 3!
You... forgot to pull the pin. Doh.
Target: Grey 2!
Physical Attack: 6!
Physical Dodge: 2!
Physical Mitigation: 1!
Damage: 6-1=5!
...Wut.
Target Health Update: [-1/6]!
Kills +1!
Achievement Unlocked: Improper Ordinance-- You're doing it wrong.

DeadEye:
FRIENDS EVERYWHERE! TOO MANY FRIENDS!
Roll: 1!
The only cover you can find is occupied by Plague. And Plague doesn't share.

Quaker:
You inspect the [MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE-[???/???]]!
Roll: 1+2(SHINY)=3!
Well. It ticks rhythmically, which means it must be friendly!
...You think.

Gunneh:
You forsake your man-child heritage!
Note: DeadEye isn't firing this turn, so his skills aren't actually applied.
Physical Attack Roll: 2!
Physical Dodge Roll: 6!
Physical Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Your first shot goes horribly wide!

Physical Attack Roll: 3!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 6!
Grey 8 deflects your bullet-- with it's MIND!

Physical Attack Roll: 4!
Physical Dodge Roll: 2!
Physical Mitigation Roll: 1!
Damage: 4-1=3!
You hit it squarely in the chest!
Target Health Update: [3/6]

Shadow:
Erm... You contemplate coming out of cover? I'm sorry, I don't see an action there...

...how...Nevermind. My grenade has landed in the midst of the enemy! If I ignite it with my new pyro powers, it COULD ignite and explode and BURNINATE.

Just vague enough to be effective!

The endless colors are MESMERIZING...

PLEASE LORD FUNK, ATTACK THE ENEMY! I BEG OF THEE!

Well...this didn't work out quite as planned. If I'm going out, it's going to be like a man. Or a chicken in a man suit...maybe like a bomb. I don't know anymore.

Run up to one of the Greys and punch him in the face with the grenade fused hand hopefully hitting the MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE!