Rate My Caligoan!

Call it a selfish desire to know what people think of my newly redefined Caligo profile, but I had the idea to make this thread, where users can rate one another's Caligo characters. This basically has the same idea behind it as sig/avy set rating threads, but it obviously requires more reading and thought.

Rules:

1) You must actually read the profile of the person whose profile you are supposed to be rating.
2) If two people submit a rating for the same person (near-simultaneous posting), the next poster should rate the person who submitted their rating first.
3) You may not post more than once per day. I don't want this to become another spam topic where the most common response is, "I've already rated yours, so you get a X/XX again." The exception to this is if you were a near-simultaneous poster who was not rated because of rule two.
4) If you're not posting to rate someone and to receive a rating, don't post. It's unfair to the person who posted before you. Keep off-topic conversation out of this thread.

Suggestions:

1) If you update your Caligo profile, make a note of it when posting. It would also help to note the sections that have been updated. That way, the person doing the rating will know where to look for the changes, or if they should look for changes at all.
2) Try to give helpful ratings. Instead of just saying X/XX, give them some advice on what you think could improve their profile. This doesn't mean pick apart their spelling or grammar (unless they note that they'd like for that to be done), but point out inconsistencies in their character's personality/background or areas that might benefit from improvement.

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So, with that out of the way, let the topic begin! I apologize to the first person to rate me, since I have over 5000 words worth in my Caligo Profile. Let that be a warning!

Rating: 9.5/10

Reason: Your description was absolutely spectacular. I was given a perfect image of your character. With your words I could literally paint a picture of your character. The personality felt very flat and predictable at the start. It felt like the standard bitter hero turned bitter character until the part about his "two distinct personalities". His relationship with his Shade is what "sold" me on your character's attitude. It created a dynamic for him that was different for his character type. The family section finally gave me a peek at where he came from, as your age revealed nothing of his possible past. The friends, like and dislike sections fit well with your character's personality. As for your weapon, all I can say is that I want one! It sounds so awesome. Awesome is the word for it, kick-ass awesome. I hope to see it in action as it has good role-playing potential. The Shade ability really starts to make sense once one reads on and understands the context. The Shade and character biography is what truly shaped your profile. While the "bitter hero turned crazed baddie" has been done before, your biography gives me hope that you will do the role more than justice. Dais's relationship with Halo could really take your character far.

Questions: It seemed to be only implied in your biography... Was Asmodeus killed and then raised by some force in battle, was he affected by his Shade's Impulse and was he, or his Shade, the one to kill the princess?

I must apologize that I do not have much of anything in my Caligo Profile. I have been slacking lately and have not finished it. When I do, I will have you look at it. Perhaps this will be the kick in the rear that I need to get it done.

Not having anything to rate kind of puts a halt on the whole thing...so I'm going to just rate Weiss' profile.
I will write up a response as I read each section, so that you get my first reaction as I read through it.

Appearance: I like the descriptions you use here. It could be said that the wording is a bit too flowery...but I really think it works. You don't waste words, so it doesn't detract from the overall explanation. And I have a good imagine in my mind of what he looks like.

Personality Traits: From this point, it seems as if some drastic event turned what could once have been an important and loved person into a demon. Unlike Arutheus' preference for villains with no purpose or forethought, I find this rather intriguing. The great descriptions enable me to get a good feel for the depth of his depravity, and I love that you also mentioned how those things affect his shade as well.

Family: It is interesting what you have done here. For a character like yours, it is easier to forsake the world, or even hate the world, if there is nothing to hold on to. Without any form of family to turn to, Dais is left with little love to pull him back. It seems that by forsaking any semblence of family ties, he managed to dig his own hole. Or at least start it.

Friends and Enemies: This seems more of a continuation from above. He has already forsaken his family, so forsaking everyone else isn't any more daunting a task. Though as of now I'm left wondering whether this detachment from family and society came before or after whatever drastic event changed his life.

Likes: Nothing is pretty explanatory, though I think you could further the understanding of the character by listing those things he does like. And he does like things, according to his personality traits. He likes retelling stories of his exploits, it seems, because he can relive them in his memory, relive the experience of killing/torturing/destroying. You don't have to, of course, but it seems that "nothing" doesn't really explain the character very well. Everyone likes something, even if it is their attempt to destroy everything around them. Even if they don't technically "like" doing that, I would argue that they do "like" the idea of that world not existing, for one reason or another.
Sorry if that came out confusing...I just think something could be added here to bring out his insanity and sadistic nature.

Dislikes: Unlike "Likes," I think this description fits well enough. It may be wishy-washy on my part...but even some sort of description on the nature of liking would fit as well.

Weapons: Definitely cool. I love the weapon idea. I don't really know what else to say about it... Except I want one. A real one.
I feel it fits your character perfectly in that he has no preferences, no likes or dislikes with anything including weaponry. He would fight with whatever technique fit best in any particular scenario.

Equipment: The equipment Dais uses, and their capabilities, are really quite powerful. But they are also extremely weak in the wrong situation. So while you have what some would consider an extremely powerful character, he is certainly not invincible. His attackers would be forced to adapt their strategies to deal with him, yet it seems he would be less able to deal with different scenarios, being so used to, and in control of, his magnetic equipment. I don't know whether to say I do or do not like it, but it seems well thought out, and quite interesting

Vehicles: Very fitting, concering his relationship with Halo.

Shade ability: I don't really think this fits very well with Dais' personality. Dais would pick and choose his encounters, not hating or liking but going with what comes his way or presents itself as an opportunity (at least from my understanding so far). So a blind rage, as Impulse seems to be, seems...out of character for Dais' shade. Maybe it is just that I see it differently than you, which is fine. It just doesn't quite fit. I can't every imagine Dais fighting in such a way.

Shade Biography: This brings me a little closer to understanding Halo's power and why it seems so off to me. It seems that it is born more from Dais previous emotional and mental state, his desires at the time, rather than his current personality, which is what I had mistakenly based it on. Very intriguing. I like how you don't just spill it out all at once!

Character Biography: I really like how it all comes together here. You've perfectly explained my question about the power itself, why he has become the person he is, and his relationship with his shade. I really like how it was written like a story, not just at the end but the whole way through. Great job with that. Makes me want to rewrite mine...

Score: 9.9/10

My only problem with the whole things is your "Likes" section. As I stated there, I think there should be something there besides "nothing." It just doesn't do your character justice. I believe that even more strongly now that I have read it all the way through.
I also find it difficult for that event to turn him into the man he has become, but I think that is just my own personal views on character development. I wouldn't say your way doesn't work. I would love to interact with your character in a role-play! I think your character is a path my own might have gone down, if it weren't for the resolve of his own shade.

Thanks for the rating and the helpful commentary, Hermes and Silvone.

Since I think the style of reading each section and responding to them one at a time makes for an accurate review (as most readers will start at the top and gradually work their way down), I will use that method as well.

Note: This post ended up being massive. Just so everyone knows, I don’t expect anyone to include this much when doing the ratings. A small post saying that you think it’s good/bad and why will suffice. I just happened to get absorbed in the process of trying to match the effort invested by Silvone’s rating of my character.

Consequently, this post will use spoiler tags to reduce its visible size.

Character Details
(image, name, etc.)

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Personality

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Family

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Friends and Enemies

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Likes and Dislikes

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Profession / Vocation

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Weapons

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Equipment

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Vehicles

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Shade Ability

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Shade Biography

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Character Biography

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Rating: 8.5/10

While the organization of the character sheet was a bit poor, the character is pretty solid. There are some areas that could use refinement, such as the mentioned details about his weaponry, and I wouldn’t mind seeing some more entries in the Likes and Dislikes fields that are more about trivial preferences, but he certainly has a lot of RP potential.