The Idiot Thread

[Inerio]

I figured we needed one of these.

This is a place where you don't really complain, but tell the other members about something you did that was idiotic or clearly lacked common sense. A place to share your "so stupid it was funny" moments.

Here's mine.

I just got home from community service. The minute I sit down my dog decides to attack my lap (she's a big dog) and my lighter falls out onto the floor, my matches almost do to. Naturally my parents ask me to explain and I answer. "I like to burn things." To which they ask what kind of things. Like a regular genius I answer "Leaves." What kind of leaves. "Leaves from the ground."

. . . . You know, because marijuana and tobacco totally aren't leaves and totally don't grow in the ground. That's like crack falling out of my pocket and me saying "It's powder!" : D In trying to tell them the truth I've single handedly made myself look like a pot head.

That's my idiot moment for the day FOG. What's yours?

[6billionghosts]

I drive like an idiot. Today I drove like an idiot several times and almost got my girlfriend killed!

She explained that it was my fault, that I had a stop sign and should have looked.

I said "It's not my fault" and started mumbling some incoherent nonsense.

I hate driving. It is the most absurd thing that could have possibly been invented. Primates going fast by their own will in giant metal shells.

I'm an idiot driver. I even yell at other drivers out my window!

[Kathryn Lacey]

This hasn't happened to me recently. It actually happened about two years ago, but I'll tell it anyway because it was so stupid it was funny.

Okay, so my grandma went to Pennsylvania to visit my mom, and I stayed home. I didn't have my license at the time, but I did have my permit, and I wasn't going to become a hermit just because I didn't live in town. I used to take the car, and drive to visit my friends in town. If I lived in Fairfield, I would have just walked, but I don't.

Anyway, the drive itself is about twenty minutes, and it's boring, especially because I didn't have a radio. What I did wasn't really something to entertain myself, but I'm sure if I had had music with which to sing along, I never would have noticed the bug in the first place.

Anyway, only having had my license for a few months, I wasn't the greatest of drivers, and my common sense with driving was low. I was also smoking pot a lot during that summer, so my common sense in general was lessened. No, I was not high during this. If I got high, I always waited until I was sober before driving again, even if that meant when dawn broke or later.

Anyway, I noticed this tiny green bug on the inside of my driver's side window, and I became convinced that if I could roll the window down all the way, the bug would be sucked outside the car. I was driving about sixty or sixty-five miles per hour, so it seemed like a good plan.

Nothing in the car was electric, so I had to roll the window down by hand via one of those little crank things. Anyway, the entire time, I was staring at the bug because I wanted to see it sucked outside the car because I was convinced that if I didn't see it happen, it may just be inside the car still when it was finished.

My eyes were glued on the bug. Finally, I got the window down, and all of the sudden, I realized that I wasn't on the road any more. I was rapidly driving over gravel, ready to plant my car right in a ditch.

The intelligent thing to do would have been to stay calm and ease the car back onto the road the way I calmly did when I was first learning how to drive. My mom was shocked that I was so good about over-correcting.

Nope. I over-corrected hard. I swerved so badly that I almost spun my car, but the tires gripped the road before that happened. I'm really lucky that there weren't any other cars driving up behind me. There was just one that was waaaay ahead of me, and I'm sure they thought, "What a fucking douche-bag." when they saw me swerve.

Now that it's over, and no one was hurt, I can laugh about it. ^^_^^

[osacredxo]

Oh yeah, this is the thread for me!

Okay, so, alongside all the other driving stories, I had a bad day about 6 months back that consisted of cars. It was a pretty day outside, and my sister and I had planned to go to this local shopping corner. So we went.

There is a three way intersection that was temporarily a bend in the road, as a part of it was blocked due to construction (CONSTRUCTIOOOON *shakes fist*). Okay, so, I still stop at the stop sign. Most people don't, but I'm a good girl. This big arse truck comes trucking along, and because there's a big ol' sign blocking it from going straight that says SHADDAP, TURN AROUND (not quoting :3), I say to myself, oh geez, he's going to make a turn, he's a freakin' huge truck, I'm going to go ahead and shoot off so I can get out of the way. Well, I had the best intentions, but it apparently wanted to ram the SHADDAP sign down. So it slammed to a halt, this big ol' truck of truckiness. In my gawk, I sort of stop in front of it and go, hurh? But immediately went about my way. Turns out, plenty of people use that closed road to make short cuts, IN SPITE of the SHADDAP sign. (By the way, it didn't really say SHADDAP.)

That's not the end of my story! That happenstance sort of pissed me off, and when I'm upset, I don't really put information together properly. Short story short, I honked at some guy in front of me that was completely unwarranted. I was just mad and he wasn't leaving on the green fast enough for my taste.

My idiot moment for today was, I went into work when I wasn't really scheduled (I just love my job, la la la /monotone) and I worked for a measly hour because I had already clocked in. And my work groove was thrown, so I was doing stupid stuff all around, like getting my shirt soaked in a bucket of old coffee...sigh. I'm a klutz, really.

[Dax]

http://www.NewYorkTimes.com/article#2038504937.html

Lol, I failed soo bad an article was written about me..... oh yah >.>

I think nothing can top this.

[Adrius Frostglare]

I waited and now that I'm 18 it is too late to commit a felony without going to jail.

Phooey.

[Kalaam]

Cheer up Adrius, it's never to late to commit a felony. You just can't get caught or have a bad lawyer if you do. Do a Dane Cook and do a B and E.

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