Ask the Ghost ~ 004

The skies darken, and there is an evident air of a presence that surrounds you. The birds and bugs cease to make a sound, and the very air itself becomes icy cold. The wind dies down, and everything is still... for a few moments. Then, there is a voice.


Wellywell an' 'ere we 'ere an' 'ere we go!
Welcome one and awll to this episode of Ask the Gewst, with Chaahley the Gewst!

Me Proivut Messuging inbox here at FOG is lookin' a bit gewstly this week, but that's awlroight because I've got a smashin' topic for you jolly lot to considah.

Biscuits and Crumpets

Or...

Crisps and Toast

Or...

Tea and Toffee

It's awll the same: we're talkin' about awfternoon foodes as well as aught what's in relation.
I'll be here awll week, so ask me any question you loike relatin' to awfternoon and snackish foodstuffs!

You never know about the foods here on Caligo! And I gets up to a bloody load of hullabaloo about folk snackin' on awfternoon luncheon and four o'clock tea.

Go on, then: ask me anythin' ye like, post it here and wotch the fun!

Tell awll yer friends!

Hurr-hurr-hee....

---

The voice remains, still but everpresent. The gentle breeze resumes softly, if hesitantly. The air remains like ice, but here and there a bug chirps or clicks... perhaps out of boredom, or is it anticipation? The shade over the sky hovers, silent, ominous, waiting....

Hiya Charlie! It's the dagger lady again! I hope you are well and good. Can I mix your topics a little? I'd love to know about crumpets, which I have no ideas what it is, and crisps, just for the fun of it!

I hope you have a jolly good time, my gewsty friend.

Hallo again, Miss Daggah-er!

Crisps are potato chips. When they're still in the bag, they're awfully brilliant at makin' the perfect noise what everybody turns their heads 'round to see wot's goin' on. Bit of a poke at the grocer's or the supermarket, or even carried in a bag or in some old pantry, it scares the bloody hell out of plain anyone! Nevah gets old! Kinda goes "snickle-snick." Right out o' nowhere; bloody brilliant.

Crumpets are li''le round pieces of soft, sommat spongy breadish stuff what goes perfect at breakfast or along with awfternoon tea. Bit smaller and not so bready as muffins. Got lots of holes in it, and they tastes jolly bleedin' smashing dripping with butter, maybe with a spot of jam. In fact they're rather bland without a bit of a topping. It's most always butter, but cheese is good, and syrup... and marmalade, and poached eggs, and peanut butter... juss about anythin'.

Me family and me'd always have crumpets with breakfast and our tea, like awll good proper folk. Now that I'm a gewst crumpets don't do much for me foodswise, but!... a bit of an 'aunting can come off easy from an unsuspecting bite on a crumpet. Oh you wouldn't think so wouldja, but it is. Here now, like this: picture awfternoon tea. Jolly chap sittin' there in his comfy porch bench under Caligo's cloudy skies, enjoyin' the bright calm day with a bit of a snack on biscuits, tea, and a stack o' crumpets. Now what better toime to syruptitiously pour the tea into his lap than when he's got his eyes closed on a nice big bite of a tasty crumpet, wot? Hurr-hurr-hurr-hurr-hee-hee-hee!

Oi, bein' a gewst has it's charms, right enough. Oi? Hee-hee-hurr!

Brilliant! That finishes off this episode of Ask the Gewst! I'll be back to haunt your forums again next week! In the meantoime, ask me any question ye loike throo the Proivut Messuging 'ere at FOG. PM's, and that. Anythin' at awll, Bob's-yer-uncle I'll be jolly on the spot to answer well yoomorously. Bit of a lark. With a lorry-load o' clawss and wit, wot? Oi, hee-hee-hurr!

I'll sees the lot of ya then! Till it comes 'round, you lot enjoy yer FOG! Righty-o?
So long! Thanks awfully!

And tell awll yer friends,
Chaahley says BEW!!

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The voice fades. Everything is still... for a few moments more. The gentle breeze resumes creating soft swirls in the unending mist. The air seems less icy, the bugs and birds seem to return as if there had never been a gap in their ambient whisperings. The shade over the sky rolls back. All is as it was. ...for now....

Bye, Charlie! See you next time.