Bash Quotes

by Kaito Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:27 am

Alright folks,

the ones of you who don't know it, yet: bash.org

The ones who know: post some of your favorite quotes!

Or even better: post your quotes of your own!

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK

<jamz> So I sent out an email saying that due to a death in the family I was going to be out for the next two days.
<jamz> one person emailed me back: Please accept my sincere apologies.
<jamz> I emailed her back: What, did you kill her?

by Dio the Awesome Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:51 am

Bash.org rocks!

<reuben> you're like people with bumper stickers.
<reuben> telling the same lines over and over and over again.
<reuben> anything witty is only witty once
<reuben> hey
<reuben> that would be a good bumper sticker

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

by Kaito Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:07 am

Classic IRC noobs:

<+mOrphz> damn it :/
<@Lego> damn it :/
<+mOrphz> stop that
<@Lego> stop that
<+mOrphz> Very Happy

<@Lego>

<+mOrphz> Lego smells
<@Lego> Lego smells
<+mOrphz> /quit
quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)

<cSk|Sperry> There were 2 people on a boat: /hop and /quit. /hop got off, who's still on the boat?
* nipple_frog has quit IRC

also,

<Vipsta> I once keylogged this guy coding C
<Vipsta> biggest fucking mess ever :\

by Dio the Awesome Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:21 am

XDDD

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes

Disclaimer: I do not condone the discrimination of the Jews.

dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.

*facepalm*

by Kaito Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:51 am

Haha, sounds like that one from the german bash site: (loosely translated)

girl: our maths teacher is so stupid
girl: he said 80% of our class can't calculate right
girl: but we're not even 30!
girl: hahaha

*facepalm*

by Kaito Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:26 am

omfg

<MpTaNk> one time on a test we had to find answers to questions that were in a book and insted of looking for the page I tryed to ctrl+f
<MpTaNk> it was a shocking feeling when I realized I couldn't do it

I did that. I was searching something that I knew was on my desk.. somewhere. And I thought "Ctrl+F that shit"

and then I was like

D:

...

by Dio the Awesome Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:29 am

I've tried to search function things in my room..... >.>

"Oh man, this spider is on my monitor chasing my pointer!"
"Hahaha, screen shot that shit.... Wait..."

"I've lost a computer."
"???"
"It's somewhere it my apartment, it's online, it responds to ping. I just can FIND it!"

by Kaito Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:54 am

<heheheoppsomglolz133t> ok if you're going to hunt fellow dorm members to feed on, would you get a girl, fuck her then eat her? My friend wouldn't b/c he'd feel like she'd be tainted
<lrrl> Gotta add the cream filling
<lrrl> everyone knows that
<XX01XX> I don't think I'd be comfortable with having sex with something I planned on eating
<lrrl> XX01XX trust me it tastes better that way
<XX01XX> it's a perversion of the predator-prey relationship
<XX01XX> either be a sexual predator or a regular one.
<XX01XX> or at least wait 45 minutes between roles
<lrrl> how about 31 and you kill them first?
<XX01XX> oh... well, if they're already dead, that's different... then you're just tenderizing the meat
<lrrl> now you tell me....solves all my problems then
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> he won't even do it with a condom, says the smell would taint it
<XX01XX> (nonoxynol-9 on your steak)--
<XX01XX> if it's dead you don't even have to use the vagina... there are probably other newly created holes to be used

by Dio the Awesome Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:01 pm

by Kaito Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:20 am

Translated:

Guy1: I have a year's worth of condomes! Yay!
Guy2: How many?
Guy1: 1 x_X

by **Loki** Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:08 pm

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Gotta love the bloodninja quotes. lol!

by Mezrin Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:13 pm

linkraceist: my printer is being rather communist atm
necrokiss: lol, how so?
linkraceist: in theory, there is nothing wrong with it
linkraceist: but when i try to use it, everything goes wrong

<Hitchhiker> Gotta catch 'em all!
<ManInBlack> STDs!
<marik7772003> gonorrhea, i choose you
<ManInBlack> GO GET 'EM, HIV!
<Hitchhiker> Herpes, fire attack!
<ManInBlack> HIV IS EVOLVING
<ManInBlack> CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR HIV HAS BECOME AIDS!

by Kaito Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:31 am

translated:

<dcp> The Medication can slow down your reaction times so much, that the active participation in road traffic can be dangerous.
<Taiwaz> hmm
<Taiwaz> is this women's medication?
<Taiwaz> the Pill?

by Resurrection Vic Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:07 pm

<mizery> woot, I so got owned
<mizery> my laptop is dead
<aabnusar> ?
<Rhodz> MOUTH TO HARD DICK RESUSCITATION
* aabnusar laughs at mizery
<Rhodz> lol
<Rhodz> HARD DISK
<Rhodz> LMAO
<Rhodz> omfg
<aabnusar> lol
<Rhodz> wow what a typo to make

LMFAO...

by Ragter the junior greeter Mon Aug 10, 2009 6:16 am

(@zany-) omg, I can hear my mom masturbating :l
(@NpZ^) Ahaha
(@zany-) wai... she doesn't think I'm home
(@zany-) brb
(@zany-) great now I'm grounded
(@NpZ^) HAHA

o_O

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